Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
