I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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