Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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