Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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