Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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