3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
