Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
