i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
