I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
