I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
