I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
