there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
