I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
