what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize