Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
