The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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