Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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