This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
