Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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