I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
