How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
