i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
