this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
