made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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