so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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