aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
