From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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