Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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