Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
