so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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