I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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