Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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