we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
