Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
