Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
