With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize