She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
