i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
