Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I did not marry a roomba.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
