dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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