Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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