Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
