You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
