Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
