wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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