I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Need sex. Gaining weight.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
