How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
