Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
