I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
