I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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