I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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