The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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