i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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