Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
