He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
