I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
