I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
