ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
