i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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